Rupture and Repair
You may or may not have heard these terms before. I often use them in my counseling sessions when folks are struggling in their relationships. Understanding what this means can help you with improving relationships and understanding how to fix what may be broken.
The Rupture
What is a rupture? Great question! I’m glad you asked. A rupture can be anything really, that causes a rift in a relationship. Let me share an example. Let’s say that you are married and have come home from a stressful day at work. You walk through the door and your spouse is sitting on the couch watching their favorite show. This makes you angry. Not because of what they are doing but because of the day you’ve had. You walk in and lash out! You take it all out on them without thinking through your emotions and frustrations. It may end in a fight or it may end with one of you walking away.
This can happen to anyone. Parents and kids can often have ruptures over homework, social media, or just about anything. Something pops up, you argue or fight, and then walk away from it without resolving the issue. That’s a rupture.
The Repair
This is the important part. What does it mean by a repair? The repair is coming together to talk about what happened and “fix” what happened. Let’s use our first example. The spouse was just sitting on the couch watching TV. Nothing really wrong with that. The other spouse has had a rough day and brought it home and poured it on the other. Repairing that might look something like this. The spouse who came home may go to the other and ask to talk. They may share the real reason for lashing out and sharing the emotions they had in the moment. They may also apologize to the other. This is the repair. Talking it over and being open about what happened from each other’s point of view.
Ruptures are going to happen as you go through life. The part we often forget about is the repair. This is the important part to focus on. Do you repair after the rupture or let it fester?
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